20 things you need to stop doing today to live a better life - black milk women - life hack


Become Who You Are + Live Your Magic


Each season is a bit like the magic of the Renaissance. We are part of a show, the revival of nature through the change in seasons. As living beings, we also experience this change in a visible and sometimes invisible way.

For some, the new season is like a new book that we are excited to read, and for others, the continuation of a chapter. Transitioning into a new season is a moment where our state of mind is paved with good intentions. A moment where we arrange our objectives so that we can accomplish them by the end of the year. A moment where we feel the frenzy of doing better than the previous months. Finally, at every season, it is the same ritual, the same momentum that comes back. The desire to do better, to live better.

A new season has begun it is the perfect time for change. We wish to be better, so we decide to start the new trimester with good habits. It works once, twice, three times and then BOOM, our second nature takes over and we begin to drown back into our bad habits. We finally let it go and decide to restart the following week, month or even year!


Ask yourself: How many times have I succeeded VS how many times have I failed at changing a habit?

We are beings who create habits and it is almost impossible to break free of them. In order to implement healthy habits in your daily routine, it takes not only a hard amount of willingness and decision making but it is a job on its own that builds over time. Months and years can pass before our efforts take root and the tree can finally bear its fruit. We cannot erase our bad habits but we can certainly replace them.

Firstly, before changing anything and starting your new approach, ask yourself why you want to stop certain things. Ask yourself what are the habits that are preventing you from achieving your objectives and what are, on the other hand, the habits that can help contribute to improving your quality of life, your health, your career and your relationship.

You cannot become a morning person if you continue to go to bed late. You cannot become a healthier person, if you continue smoking or eating bad food. You cannot become an inspiring person, if you continue judging and criticizing people all day long. You cannot become a happier person if you surround yourself with negative people. You cannot become successful in the workforce, if you settle for a mediocre salary that is not worthy of your abilities and skills. You cannot become richer, if you have a poor state of mind and continue to spend your money meaninglessly.

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Here are 20 things you should quit today if you want to live a richer, healthier and happier life:

1. Quit putting things off

When things get complicated or become a little more difficult to handle, it Is always easier to put things off. We postpone to the last minute until right before the due date where we find ourselves facing a blank wall. Don’t put things off for tomorrow what you can solve today. Saying you’ll do it tomorrow is just more of an excuse to procrastinate.

2. Quit walking with your phone in your hands

Is there a moment in the day where you don’t have your nose in your phone? Connect yourselves to the real world. Observe the things around you. Take in the energy that surrounds you and appreciate the beauty of the life that you are living. Converse with strangers, smile at people, create eye contact.

3. Stop overthinking

« Overthinking won’t lead you anywhere. » Trust the process and hope that you will succeed. When the moment comes, you’ll know what to do. « Don’t let yesterday take up too much on today and don’t let tomorrow ruin your today. »

4. Quit addictions and everything that is bad for your health, your body, your mind and your spirit

We all have our own battles and addictions. Cigarettes, alcohol and drugs are among many other addictions such as, work, TV and social media, sex, soft drinks, sugar excess and food dependency and the list goes on. Do you know the negative impact these addictions have on your mental and physical health? If you are aware of what this does to you, are you going to continue giving them the power of destroying you?

5. Quit wasting money on unnecessary materialism as much as possible

Ask yourself if the new iPhone XS, that umpteenth pair of shoes, the new Chanel bag… are really necessary or is it just for the ‘gram? You can’t build wealth with a broke mindset.

6. Quit doubts and fear

Mike Holston, animal specialist and influencer defines fear (False Evidence Appearing Real = FEAR) as something premeditated and not real. Fear is the idea that something happens even before it actually happens. Doubts and fears are paralysing and prevent you from achieving your full potential and reaching your goals. « Never let your fear decide your future ».

Inactions breeds fear and doubt. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
— Dale Carnegie

7. Quit negativity

Negativity can have a bad influence on you. Whether it be a colleague at work, a friendship, a website… throw away everything that makes you feel depressed, negative and miserable. The faster you rid yourself of these bad vibes, the better you’ll feel. Its completely normal to have gloomy days but don’t let these days eat away your life.

8. Quit believing that you are not happy with your life

Count your blessings! I am sure you have a substantial reason to be happy today.

9. Quit giving up on your dreams and passions

Your dreams are like loose particles roaming around in your head awaiting to be accomplished. Some people exist, others live. If you don’t follow your dreams, you’ll only be existing. We all have the power to transform our dreams into reality. Dreams give you wings and it is up to you to take the flight. Do not abandon your dreams to remain in the illusion of security and wonder what life would have been like had you chosen to fly instead of staying on the ground.

10. Quit complaining and lamenting on situations

Your life will never be perfect and in line with your desires. Fight the situations that you are in control of but also learn to accept the obvious. No matter how much your life may be in a dark place, the sun will always rise. If you can’t change a situation, change your perception. « Life is about moving on, accepting changes and looking forward to what makes you stronger and more complete ».

11. Quit comparing yourself with others

« Don’t compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 15. Follow your own path, write your own life story, and never give up on yourself. This should be your number 1 rule in life.

12. Quit holding on a relationship that is over and running behind people who don’t want you

« We can’t force anyone to love us. We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave. That’s what love is all about – Freedom ». You dont need to run after people to be accepted, approved or validated because you are a whole person. Why waste a second of your precious time for someone who doesn’t appreciate your true worth, who doesn’t consider you or worry about you. You are better than that. Know your worth and act accordingly.

13. Quit expecting things from people

How many times have you counted on people, only to be disappointed? You’re disappointed, only and only if your expectations were too high and you allowed faith to be in their hands. Sometimes, people want to be there for us, but the circumstances lead them toward a different path. Don’t think they’ll always do it on purpose, its called life. Limit your expectations to avoid being repeatedly disappointed and you’ll feel a lot happier and at peace.

14. Quit searching for happiness in the wrong place

Our socio-cultural conditioning distorts our thoughts and our desires. They say that happiness is something that is found around us. That by chasing our success and/or turning towards material things, we will be able to fill the omnipresent void that dwells within us. Whether its relationships, experiences, validation, admiration, likes, etc. we believe that by acquiring these things we will feel complete on the outside. Happiness is nowhere and everywhere at the same time. You are already 1000 times complete; a house, husband, kids, will not make you more unique or complete than you already are. Realize that happiness is always available in your spirit, it is within your hands and it is completely up to you to discover and embody it.

15. Quit thinking you’ll be happy when…

Happiness is not a destination and it is surely doesn’t conjugate to the conditional tense. Once you begin associating happiness with obtaining things, you are missing out on your real happiness.

16. Quit settling for mediocrity

Mediocrity is accessible to everyone and may be achieved by putting in as little effort as possible. Mediocrity is not scary. You only have one life, so why choose the easy way out when you know the reward will be 10x more worth it had you chosen the path your worthy of. You are not mediocre. If achieving something scares you, then you are on the right path. By taking the route of excellence, you will most likely fail and not only once, but a hundred times; you’ll be told its impossible and that life is not a fairy-tale and that its just meant to pay the bills, but don’t give up, EVER! Don’t get trapped in the mediocrity of those who criticize you and don’t abide by their expectations because their expectations are not your expectations. Its by ignoring your true self that will lead you to true mediocracy. One thing is for sure, you will never regret having had the courage to try!

17. Quit being comfortable

Stability has its advantages but it also creates a limit in your personal fulfilment. It is indeed easy to get comfortable and the idea of getting out of that comfort zone could leave you feeling anxious and uneasy. There’s a saying that states that magic happens outside of your comfort zone. This is true; the answers are always found in uncomfortable places, but remember that discomfort is always temporary.

18. Quit sleeping too late

Maximise your days by waking up earlier; its that simple. There is no secret in doing this, just establish a nightly routine for a good night’s sleep.

19. Quit doing things that don’t bring value to your life

Stop doing things to please others and learn how to say no to people, situations, things and activities that don’t bring value to your life. Learn how to be selfish sometimes. Remind yourself that you are living your life for you and not for others.

20. Quit being hard on yourself

Your mistakes are part of your learning process. You are not helping yourself by being hard on yourself. Learn to be more lenient with yourself when faced with failures. Your mistakes do not affect your integrity, beauty, intelligence, and your entity. Learn that « a beautiful ‘self is never perfect ».

What have you decided to quit doing this season?


Article translated by Marlena Ricciuti


Shirline is the founder of Black Milk Women. She finds inspiration in every areas of life. Creative, passionate and dreamy ... "Eat Beauty, Live Passionately and Drink Life '' is her everyday #Wordstoliveby.

Like music or romance she is old school she doesn't snap but she tweets. 

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