Self Improvement - The Fear of Success - Black Milk Women


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Many are called, but few are chosen.

Fate has a funny way of calling out to you – even when you aren’t sure of the path you want to follow. Walking in your purpose usually places infinite obstacles in your way; and battling through the confusion can become an ongoing task that grows old pretty quickly.

If you thought getting started was the hardest part of pursuing a dream – you’re sadly mistaken. The real challenge comes right when you’re in the midst of the action.

One day, you’ll wake up and realize that it’s not as easy as you thought. That comes with the territory.

The desire to prove others wrong (or yourself right) is usually stronger than the self-defeatist illusions that try to hold you back. Pushing through the confusion and staying focused is a testament of your strength – but that’s when the battle gets interesting…

While you’re following your heart, the path of least resistance is especially tempting. It’s not easy to stick to the program until you reach the finish line – especially when doubt starts to take ahold of your mind – but there’s usually a remedy waiting nearby.

Countless discussions have been held on the “fear of failure”. Self-help gurus spend a lot of time spotlighting the paralyzing belief that prevents most people from taking the first steps on their journey, but few mention what happens next.

What lies on the other side of the rainbow?

Do destabilizing beliefs just vanish into thin air?

Or are they transmuted into something much more dangerous?

With each victory, you begin to dispel certain subconscious myths. Back when your plans were just a dream, you could’ve developed limiting beliefs that, if left unaddressed, tend to take you by surprise at the absolute worst moment.

Self Improvement - The Fear of Success - Black Milk Women

So many people have given up on a dream, a relationship, or some other opportunity that was divinely ordained, solely because the “fear of success” crept into their subconscious.

If you aren’t familiar with this unspoken plague, “the fear of success” is an entirely different demon – something unlike anything most have ever experienced.

Following the proverbial plan, “success” is typically broken down into three simple steps:

1. Set a goal

2. Follow it

3. Watch everything come together

It all seems so simple, doesn’t it?

Perseverance usually comes up at some point during those talks but it’s rare to witness discussions about the way your mind can play tricks on you while you’re still reaping your harvest.

See, success can manifest in many forms.

Landing a date with the cutie you’ve had your eye on.

Taking the first steps to make your business official.

Committing to the diet plan you’ve been sitting on for a while.

What we’re talking about here applies to virtually every aspect of your life. It’s easy to sit on the observant side of desire but, when you finally put your money where your mouth is, the taste of success can be shocking to some.

As you know, life rarely follows our plans to the letter.

The relationship you expected to take months to blossom could start flourishing in a matter of days.

The hobby you’ve been perfecting out of sheer passion could become an overnight sensation.

The occasional workout session could have you feeling sexier than ever, changing your entire outlook.

What do you do then?

Some may breathe a sigh of relief and bask in the light of their accomplishments but there are a select few that fall victim as quickly as a deer in headlights.

The idea of finally obtaining a longstanding goal is a lot to process on your own, it can be too much for some people. Though it may seem counterproductive, it happens, and it needs to be addressed as quickly as possible.

When the “fear of success” swoops in, it doesn’t drop by to take prisoners. It poisons your thoughts and taints your actions until you’ve successfully sabotaged everything you’ve worked so hard to build.

It’s the reason why some people throw salt in relationships without having a cause.

It’s why people become emotionally handicapped until their business goes under.

It’s what makes people abandon weight loss plans before reaching their goal.

When you’re faced with something that you aren’t convinced you deserve, it’s natural for your mind’s first reaction to be “RUN!”

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
— Winston Churchill

How you respond to subconscious red flags determines how long you’ll enjoy your newfound success. With experience, you’ll learn to identify personal triggers and counter them with a 3-step process designed specifically for these moments:

1. Restate what you deserve.

2. Remember what life was like before you reached this goal.

3. Realize that there’s more than enough Universal abundance to be shared with everyone.

You can’t allow sabotaging beliefs to have free range on your thoughts. As you feel yourself drifting away from success that should’ve been welcomed with open arms, you need to ask a few questions to get to the bottom of the problem.

What’s convinced you that you can’t have everything you want out of this life and more?

Why would you want to return to the way life was before you reached these milestones?

How can you prove the power of providence if you don’t stay committed to your goals?

Oprah Winfrey only wanted to earn enough money to match her age. If she was 30 years old, she only expected to make $30,000 per year. Now look where she is…

Before you dismiss the power of that revelation with a “But she’s Oprah” claim, go read #2 again. You don’t need to know her story in detail to know that Oprah wasn’t always Oprah – at least not the woman she’s recognized for being today.

Her role on “The Color Purple” was a breakthrough in her career – one that wasn’t planned and certainly not expected. After a series of disappointments and momentary defeats, Oprah managed to redefine her expectations.

Life proved that she deserved so much more than what she was asking for.

Hopefully that statement carries much more than a material undertone…

Think of all the lives she’s touched; all the people she’s reached.

Think of the opportunities that have been created after one woman relentlessly pursued her dream.

No matter your personal opinions on the media mogul, the path she’s carved for herself has opened many doors for others to follow. That’s undisputable.

Remember that the next time you feel withdrawn in the face of your own success.

Even if you struggle to acknowledge the divine blessings reserved specifically for you, you can’t ignore your calling. If you’re struck by the sudden urge to run, think about the people waiting for you to reach your goals. They need you to succeed so they can learn from what you’ve done!

You don’t have to be an Oprah to make a difference. Your children, your family, your friends – there are lots of people banking on your success right where you’re standing.

Don’t let them down.



A literary alchemist. Since terms like author, poet, or writer don’t fully describe the sentiment behind the career path she’s chosen, our contributing journalist, Tiara Butler, had to come up with something more fitting. The hailing Washingtonian has spent the last five years perfecting her craft in the professional arena. Her resume includes impressive collaborations with some of the best minds in business as well as a few exciting appointments in the self-help sector. Living the life of her dreams, Tiara’s a believer in all things. She closes each assignment with her soul’s mantra, “Write the vision, make it plain.”


You are an Inspiration XoXo