wedding guide 2017 - black milk women






Leading up to my wedding, I noticed a lot of people actually cared less about my up-coming nuptials and more about their personal agendas. Whether it be, what they're going to wear, how they'll style their hair or where they'll be seated. Even on the day of, I couldn't help but notice the “behavior" of some of the guests.




We're past the age of where we have our parents to guide us on how to behave when in public. So that's why I'm here to be your last ditch effort on how to act right and behave like you have home-training at weddings.


Be on time

I can't stress this enough. It's extremely disrespectful to arrive after the ceremony has started. I've even seen people arrive late and walk right up to the front row to sit. WHO ARE YOU?!?!

I mean, most weddings start sometime around the early afternoon. What can you possibly be tied up with to waltz in, mid-way through the ceremony? You had the invite for at least a few months before hand. That’s ample time to book your hair/make-up/waxing appointment and google map the location and arrange childcare if need be. So miss me with the excuses and DO BETTER!


Don't wear white

My husband’s aunt came in a long white dress (insert blank stare here). Was I about to kick up a storm and cuss out my in-law auntie and risk a mob of angry Haitians? No sir! Now, this seems to be more of an implicit than explicit rule. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she didn't know but, for all of you reading this, DO NOT SHOW UP TO A WEDDING WEARING WHITE! There is a huge spectrum of colors to choose from when deciding on an outfit. 

Tip: Pink is in this season.


Bring a gift

I can't believe I have to say this. It's sad and disappointing. I'm assuming since guests arrive with two empty hands, this started a new trend of "paid weddings". Couples indicate a pre-determined fee that must be paid upon confirmation of attendance.  Personally, if you can't afford a wedding and insist on going overboard with every single detail, it shouldn't fall on the shoulders of your guests to foot the bill...but that’s just me. I digress. Please do not come empty handed. Most couples have extensive wedding registries or prefer monetary gifts only. If you're not sure, ask.


Don't come with someone unaccounted for

For those who don't know, everything at a wedding is accounted for. The hall, seating, food, gifts, EVERYTHING!

So if you think you can show-up with your latest "flavor of the week", think again. Imagine if 10 guests showed up with an unannounced/accounted for date. Ten extra meals at approximately $125/each = $1,250 for the couple to pay. This is above and beyond all other associated fees. LOOK WHAT YOU DID! Please, if you receive an invite for you only, come alone. Or if you insist on bringing a date, let the couple know in advance.


It's not about you

It's a privilege/blessing to participate and witness your family or friends special day. The day is not about you. You best believe, NO BODY is watching your hair, make-up and outfit (unless your partners ex will be in attendance and…well…you know (finger snaps). Seriously speaking though, too often we focus on the above and forget the real reason why we`re there. To celebrate, rejoice and support our loved ones. Dial down the narcissism svp.

Did I miss something? Let me know in the comments below.

By Melissa Allen. Figuring it out as she goes along. 

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