Love yourself first - quotes- black milk women


Live your magic


I can out-twerk you, whine my waist with ease and give my husband a wicked lap dance... girl, bye!

So I’m in Grade10 and my gaggle of girlfriends are heading downtown to go window shopping. We're all chatting about fashion, music videos, celebrities bodies, enhancements and then it happened. My Portuguese "friend" says, "Mel, you should get your ass done since it's small for a Black girl... I mean, even my butt is bigger". If I could have thrown her on the tracks, I would’ve. I was mortified but, I tried to play it off even though she just ripped out the little bit of the self-confidence I had, as a 15 year old. Prior to that incident, I never felt any type of way about my backside but, thanks to homegirl, that was one more complex added to the pile.


"You should get your ass done

since it's small for a Black girl... "


Here's some context.

I've always been tall and slim, with an athletic build. My metabolism was Usain Bolt fast so, fat could never catch up with me. The only thing I felt was disproportionate on my body, were my breast, as they sit happily on my chest, weighing in at 34DD. Given my slim frame, they look bigger then they are. What am I complaining about you ask? Let me tell you. I was in high school when Destiny's Child came out with their hit, "Bootylicious", when JLo rocked the plunging neckline scarf/dress to the Grammy's and her ass was all anyone could talk about. Low-rise jeans were the new wardrobe staple, as it gave the illusion of a larger derrière. All the boys in school were checking for girls who wore tight pants, showing off their new hips and adult panties. So while everyone is praising thick girls with big booties, small waists and thick thighs... I was like...%&$!!!

Again, I knew I didn't have a lot going on in the back but, I was comfortable with what I had... until homegirl called me out and "little booty" shamed me.

Being a Black woman, there are so many ideologies / misconceptions that are imposed on us from birth. One of those things is having a curvaceous, apple bottom. I mean, some believe it solidifies your Blackness (rolls eyes). How silly of me to think, the color of my skin, ethnicity and culture would suffice. The older me is looking back at the young me, wishing I would have yelled back and said , "Being Black is on a spectrum BITCH...fuck outta here with that bullshit!"

I've spent many years hating my body and obsessing over things that I could not change. I've only recently, come to realize and accept that God didn't make any mistakes on me. My entire outward appearance is a culmination of my parents, my parents parents and so on. I'm not about to start looking into booty injections procedures, fat displacement surgeries or the like, to satisfy society's fickle standards of beauty.

At the end of the day, I'm thankful that I don't have problems finding jeans, that simultaneously fit my backside, hips and waist. Or, that my shape gives the impression that I'm a gym rat but, I really just ate a tub of ice cream. By the way, no shade to the thick girls. Yall beautiful too but, I’m going to love myself loudly, if you don’t mind. I love me...little booty and all.


quotes - body confidence black milk women

Mel is an occasional grill-totin', lifestyle writer. She scouts movers, doers and everything in between.


Your Are an Inspiration  XoXo